Thoughts on motherhood
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21292612/
I found this interesting article that talks about which jobs have the highest rates of depression. At the top of the list is "personal care workers" - those who care for children, elderly, and disabled. Second, are those who "prepare and serve food", such as waitresses and cooks. Tied for third are health care workers and social workers.
Now look at those above job duties and think of what moms do. They care for children and parents, and occasionally disabled children or parents. They prepare food. They are nurse and counselor for the family. And the more a person spends at home doing these things and nothing else, the more she runs the risk of falling into depression.
Granted, some moms thrive on being a mom. And I'm the first to admit that I'm jealous of those moms that can handle all those duties with happiness and grace. For me, I need a little bit more of a balance - I need some time at home and some time away from home. I can't have too much of one or the other, or I am out of balance. I *could* work more and have more money, but then I would be out of balance.
I fully respect every mom's choice of what works for her and her family. For some moms, that means working full-time. For other moms it means staying home full-time. For me, I need a bit of both. When Frodo was a baby, I stayed home almost full-time. (I worked very limited hours, and only when hubby was home with the child.) I spiraled into a severe depression quite rapidly. I finally got treatment for it and improved. Then, when my nephew was born and my sister and her hubby were very broke and she needed some daycare, I stepped up. I thought I could handle it "this time", especially since I knew it was just part of the day and I could sleep at night, and because I was being treated for my depression.
I did NOT do well again. I got the "fun" of post-partum depression without the fun of being pregnant again. I'm just not wired to be a stay-at-home mom exclusively. Just like I'm not wired to be a full-time working mom either.
And that's what all moms need to figure out - what is a good balance for you? Because if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!
posted by Mel @ 10:12 AM
2 Comments
2 Comments:
I dream about being a stay at home mom again - now that there are no kids at home all day & I could party like it's 1999!
When there were kids at home I was a mess - thus the job.
I was a SAHM for a couple of months but we lived with my parents at the time. And then I headed off to work a couple of miles away. Full time. And came home at lunch to nurse. Then my husband got a job a thousand miles away and we moved. Instant SAHM again. I did okay, but I could have used a really good drug to make me happy. It was hard. Kids are tough. One kid is tough. Strange city with no family and no friends. I am not sure how I survived to be honest with you!
But that was only for another six months or so and then I became a single mother. Moving in with my parents. Again. When it was clear the single part of the arrangement was going to be permanent (3 more months), I got another full-time job and didn't go back to being SAHM again until she went to school. And as CM says, that was when I really could enjoy it. ;) No really. I was much worse off when it was a 24-hour gig.
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