I've had some really wonky dreams lately...
I don't remember my dreams very often anymore. I don't know if it's just poor quality sleep or just less of it that's the cause, but my dreams really don't reveal themselves to me much. But recently I've remembered TWO dreams.
Let me preface the first one with a little history:
I don't get along with my dad. He's an alcoholic. He was verbally and physically abusive when I was growing up. I don't feel the need to *forgive* him for the actions he took, and I'm sure many of you reading might slam me for that. (Oh well. I figure to receive forgiveness you must apologize for your actions and ask for the forgiveness, but my dad is still an alcoholic and doesn't really think clearly.) So anyhow, on with the dream....
In one dream, my dad died. My sisters (I have two younger sisters) and I were talking about his funeral. My baby sister (the youngest - she's actually not a baby - she's 24) said she couldn't afford to pay for anything towards the funeral because she was broke. And she left. Then my little sister (the middle one - she's 31 now) said because they just had a new baby and had to buy a minivan, they couldn't afford anything either. And she left.
So here I was, sitting all by myself, hopping mad because I had to pay for my dad's funeral in it's entirety, when I didn't even really care for the man!!! I tell ya, I woke up that morning with this pressing need to visit a funeral home and start pricing things.... UGH!
In the other dream I recently had, we were installing a wood floor. I was all up in arms because they forgot half of the materials that were needed and obviously didn't know what they were doing. That's all I remember.
Looks like I spend a bit of time mad in my dreams, lol. Anyone care to psychoanalyze? (Good freakin' luck there!)
posted by Mel @ 5:43 PM
1 Comments
1 Comments:
(Carley, I tried to email a reply to you, but it was returned to me. So I will copy/paste here.)
And did you stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night? LOL!
I already knew I was psycho. ;) I'm a good girl and I take my meds for that.
In my eyes, my dad already died quite awhile ago. It's just that the funeral is long ways away yet. Twice recently he's been hospitalized for jaundice and he tells my sister the docs don't know what is causing it.... He must think we're pretty dumb. Well, I know what's going on, and my youngest sister knows what's going on. Our middle sister is the ditz. ;)
Interesting correlation about the half done jobs in the dreams and frustration at dh's lack of motivation.... You could be on to something. I'll think on that one.
So about your dad - do you ever miss him? Do you ever wish he'd apologized? I have a surrogate dad - actually it's my FIL - he's much more of a father to me than my own dad. He rocks. For me, in a way I hope my dad will never apologize because then I won't have to deal with it. I feel so DONE with it already. I have a couple fond memories from when I was younger, but the bad ones definitely are stronger and definitely outweigh them too. But I figure all my life experiences make me who I am today and I'm pretty darn comfortable with myself most days.
Holy cow, am I ever a-ramblin' here!!! Thanks for your reply to my blog. I'll put the check for the therapy session in the mail.... ;)
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