Even more update...

...but I promise this will be the last of it. I'm sure you're all sick of hearing about my dad, but since I started the story, I feel obligated to finish it.

Yesterday, they moved dad out of ICU and on to a medical floor. He was showing more signs of progression such as a nurse asked him to stick out his tongue and he did, asked him to lift his head so she could fix his pillow and he did, asked him to turn his head and he did. Then according to my sister who was there, he just "zoned out". They started him on some physical therapy to exercise his legs, some occupational therapy to work with his hands and arms, and some speech therapy to work on some swallowing. My sister started calling around and asking about nursing homes and spoke with a lawyer about getting guardianship.

Then this morning she gets a call from one of the nurses. Dad took a huge turn for the worse last night. His oxygen saturation dropped down to 66%. (You want to be in the high 90%s or at 100%. Under 90%, they hospitalize you.) They were able to bring it back up to 95%. Then he started getting fluid in his lungs again, and he became unresponsive again. My sister called her husband at work so he could come home and watch the kids so she could go down there. Before she could even leave, the hospital called back to let her know he had passed away. It's finally over. He finally let go.

So the day after checking on nursing homes, we checked on funeral homes. He wanted to be cremated and to have his ashes buried near his parents' gravesite. We're having a memorial service and the interment on Tuesday in the little bitty midwestern farm town he grew up in. I hope he is finally at peace.

I'm sort of surprised at the tears I've shed today. One of the nurses I work with said she went to a conference on grief a few years ago and basically, in a situation like mine, the grief is over what *could* have been, but never was. I think she really hit the nail on the head for me.